So I found this image while I was stumbling and realized how much it applies to my life and experiences and whatnot. I'm done with regrets and I'm done hating myself for things I've done. I've make plenty of stupid mistakes in my life, and some not so stupid choices, but at the point in time that I made them, it was, in fact, exactly what I wanted. And it's shit like that that helped form the individual that I am today.
"The guy back in Kentucky." That's what I refer to you as, and it's funny calling you that, but it's weird saying your name to people who don't know you. I tried it. I told one of my friends that I'd refer to you by your name and it just didn't work. So, you'll continue to be the guy back in kentucky. And I'll continue to miss you. And not know where I stand with you, again. And maybe it'll morph into a one-sided thing like it was years ago, and I would be willing to accept that. I'm the queen of one-sided feelings. I get it. And I can deal with that. I guess. It's actually kind of funny. Mike understands my predicament with the guy back in kentucky more than I expected him to and it's nice to be able to talk to someone and have them understand. He gets it because he has a "Girl back in NOVA". He gets how difficult it is, and it's nice. Mike is becoming the douchebag guy friend that I've needed since parting ways with the guy back in kentucky. And while we're on the topic of Mike, I'm done having "feelings" for him. He's the guy friend that I need, not the boyfriend I need, and I've distinguished that barrier.
I want this semester to be over, and I want to pass. And I'm doing a good job of focusing and getting organized on schoolwork. I'm not trying, but instead, I'm doing. [Hah. Another lesson taught to me by the guy back in kentucky.] And I wish it took me less time to realize that this is what I should've been doing, but it is what it is.
Thanksgiving break is next week - thank god - and I'm going to try and force my dad to play Swords and Serpents with me at least ONE day out of break. It needs to happen while there's time left to do it.
Oh, and I lost my bank card somehow. Fun stuff. So, I guess this is exactly what I needed. I kept telling myself that I needed to not spend money, and this is a sure fire way not to spend any. Looks like it's nothing but meal swipes for me for two weeks! D: Ah well, it gives me an opportunity to start eating less again. I'm gaining weight and I don't like it. Maybe it was because I didn't have parkour for a week, or something like that. I could just hit up the gym next week. That's looking like an option. I'm rambling.
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